Tuesday, June 7, 2011


Sometimes I feel like we just can't "catch a break"-life seems to always be hard for us.  I know this is of course is not true, but I have to fight sometimes daily the frustrations and temptations to think that God is not good in the working out of His will in our lives.

My husband was asked to lead a mission trip overseas (his first since returning from Africa 5 1/2 years ago). I was excited for him even though of course deep down I really want to be able to go too. Proclaiming the goodness of God through Jesus to the nations is our hearts desire, but we are unable to leave my hometown right now due to my pain. It's hard for me to watch my husband's dreams fade because of me so this mission trip seemed like God's hand at work.  Unfortunately we found out my husband will not be allowed to take the time off work because the trip falls during the company's peak sales season.  The manager is just upholding a policy and not taking into account that this is not really a vacation (although my husband will gladly use his vacation time for it)....frustrating.  Furthermore, my husband's new job-while it provides more money-has not turned out to be what we expected. He is required to work mostly evening/weekend shifts, and while we see this isn't probably the best solution for a long term job finding a job in our area isn't easy right now....frustrating.

I've been experiencing a lot of burning pain in my knees and feet and knots in all my leg muscles. I feel confident it is related to my pudendal neuralgia (the pelvic muscles are spasmed therefore leading to spasm of all my lower body muscles and often there is nerve "crosstalk" with pudendal neuralgia), but it is making it harder for me to stand very much. I really don't know what to do about this. I have been debating on whether to get a family doctor, I don't have one or just wait out the 2 months till I go to Phoenix to see a pudendal neuralgia specialist. I already can't sit because of pudendal neuralgia. Am I going to get to where I can't hardly stand either?....frustrating

Like I said, I am traveling to Phoenix in August and I was hopeful that I would get to have at least one treatment done while I was there, but the doctor's nurse said that it's not likely that I will. I will be seeing a physical therapist while there and having a special MRI done, but since I am flying across the country it would be nice to at least try something to help me feel better! We can't really afford flying to Phoenix again this year and I've been waiting for this appointment since January....frustrating!

What do we do when the circumstances of this life are frustraing? How can we trust God will really take care of us?  I love this verse in Matthew 10:29-31

"Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows."
There are more than 50 species of sparrows in North America alone. Sparrows are one of the most common birds yet not one of them falls to the ground apart from God's will! If God is sovereign over the sparrows how much more is He working out every detail of our lives? And because of this I don't have to fear no matter what happens, in fact, Jesus commands us not to fear at all. Verses like this bring great comfort in times when it seems like everywhere we turn life is hard. Circumstances may be frustrating to us, but God's plans are never frustrated. Lord, help me to believe your word is true and to "fear not".

I would appreciate your prayers:

1. That God will open doors for us to minister despite my pain. And guidance to know where He is leading.

2. Tomorrow I am going to try a new massage therapist. I am praying it will be helpful as I have stopped PT for now and have a lot of muscles pains in addition to nerve pain. Any relief will help my quality of life.

3. Guidance about whether to get a family doctor now or wait until after going to Phoenix. And that I will find one who is familiar with treating chronic pain.

4. That the Dr. in AZ will have mercy on me and allow me to get some treatment while there.

5. Strength both physically and spiritually to make it through each day and not to let "frustrations" get me down.

Anyone reading have a favorite Bible verse that helps them through the frustrations of this life? (Feel free to comment anonymously)


  1. Here are a few:
    "When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer." Psalm 94:19

    "Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken." Psalm 62:1-2

    "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us..." Ephesians 3:20

  2. Knowing and believing the doctor will have mercy on you... keep calling.... keep pushing.... keep fighting.... never give up. Jesus is on YOUR SIDE!!! :-)