Desire

I would really appreciate prayers as I go to see the specialist again tommorrow.  The past few weeks have been very difficult and it seems like pelvic pain is just one of many symptoms I am now dealing with.  Pray that the specialist will have wisdom, will be compassionate, and that I will get a better "diagnosis" soon.  For the last week or so I have been dealing with very tight neck/shoulder muscles which has progressed into  headaches. No medicine that I have takes the headache away and this is more scary than the inability to sit as the heachaches are sometimes very debilitating.  Again, I feel like something bigger is going on with me than just pelvic pain, so hopefully the doctor will be able to pinpoint something.

Interestingly enough after my last post on jealously we read Psalm 73 at church yesterday.  The psalmist asks why it seems like the wicked prosper while those that seek the Lord often suffer.  However it ends by saying that those who are far from God will perish. A couple of verses were very challenging to me.

"Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." (v. 25-26)

Do I really not desire anything other than God?  Unfortunately right now sometimes I think I desire physical healing more than God.  Right here the Bible says, my flesh may fail (we know that eventually everyone's flesh fails and we die), but God is my portion forever.  If we know God we shouldn't fear because we have the promise of eternal life through Christ. And we definitely shouldn't envy the wicked even if they do prosper in this life because their end is sure.  That's my problem I desire the things of this world much more than I truly desire God sometimes.  Lord, help me to remember, even in my suffering, that this life is but a vapor. (James 4:14)