Thursday, September 2, 2010

Still Waiting

A week ago today I had my injection.  I have continued to have an increase in pain since the injection unfortunately, and I started having some new symptoms....burning/tingling in my feet and down my legs some. My back hurts much worse than it did before the injection and sitting is even more difficult. (I struggle to blog as much as I'd like because sitting is so difficult for me). On Tuesday I felt like I should let the doctor know I was in more pain.  The doctor actually called me back herself! She thinks she has probably stirred up my symptoms. I don't really understand what that means, especially since I'm having some new symptoms. But because I live several hours from her office she thinks I need to have an MRI just to be sure everything is ok.  I guess to make sure there's no nerve damage? But I didn't think you can see nerve damage on an MRI.  She also wanted to me to start  taking a steroid dose pack I guess to see if the inflammation from the injection died down any.  This is my 3rd day on the 6 day dose pack, but I don't feel any different.  I hate to have to get another MRI, but I guess I have to...that will be tomorrow. And another couple hundred dollars down the drain.  So frustrating.

It's been a hard week physically, emotionally, and spiritually to say the least.  Our sermon at church on Sunday was about suffering and we read parts of Romans chapter 8. I have always found great hope in the promises of  Romans 8:28 "And we now that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."  But the pastor emphasized Romans 8:31-32 "What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?"

"All things" that got me thinking....what do we think of when we hear "all things"? A spouse, children, a good job, friends, family, the perfect house, health, ease of life, happiness?  These are the things we want in life or often think we deserve. But if God has already given us the greatest gift He can give us (eternal life through His Son, Jesus) then of course He will give us all things. The Bible tells us in Psalm 34:10 "The young lions suffer want and hunger; but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing."  So I was challenged to rethink my "all things". Health is a good thing to man, but is it a God? A husband is a good thing to man, but is it to God? If it were then the fact that Christians suffer from chronic illness would mean the Bible is lying and they really do lack a good  Or if a Christian woman longs for a husband and she doesn't ever get one then she is lacking a good thing....a husband.

Could it be that in Christ we have "all things"?  And these blessings of life (family, jobs, health) are just "extras" God gives to some.  These are some humbling truths especially for someone who is dealing with chronic pain, like myself.  Oh, that I might see the gift of my Savior as all I need!

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