I've had a few days of reprieve here or there, but nothing long lasting and while I think the pain is structural coming from my sacroiliac joint dysfunction (pelvic misalignment) and resulting muscle compensation along the spine nothing I have tried has given me any lasting relief. Unfortunately, as I've mentioned many times before, I live over 2 hours away from my doctors and physical therapists and my local options have not been helpful for my complex case. I've had pelvic pain for close to 5 years now, so all of my medical professionals specialize in the pelvis. This is one of the hardest things about this type of chronic pain - trying to be my own doctor and figuring out how to get the next symptom that pops up back under control.
Today I was having a particularly hard day. My pain level was higher and I felt discouraged that I can't find a medical practitioner to help me with my head/neck pain. I try really hard not to cry or talk about my pain in front of my 4 year old daughter. But today she must have heard me in my room talking to my husband and crying. She came and hugged me and said,
"Mommy it's ok. I know your head and neck may not stop hurting on Earth, but one day it won't hurt anymore in heaven!"My daughter quickly helped me remember that this world is not my home. And as I hugged her I felt joy that I could "share Christ's sufferings" (1 Peter 4:13) and in doing so help my daughter learn that Jesus is the greatest treasure of all - that nothing in this world, not even health, compares to Him.
Now, please don't get me wrong, I do not rejoice in my suffering the way I should. There are many days I wallow in self-pity, am mean to my husband, and a down right horrible example of Christ. But I am thankful that my suffering has allowed us the opportunity to teach my daughter about how to handle prayer that is not answered favorably (which is where she heard this response above), how to keep trusting in Christ when life is not easy, and how God is good when He gives and takes away.
I wish I could say, my break from blogging is over, but I'm not sure when or if my headaches will go away or become more manageable. Will you please pray that God will help me find resources to improve my pain or that He will take them away as quickly as they came on? And until then, please pray that God will help me to rejoice in my suffering and give me grace to endure this weary world.