First, the good news: after over 4 years, 7 months of chronic debilitating pain and 21.5 months of wading through our nation's disability process....I have been approved!! The bad news is, I am disabled.
It was bittersweet to read the judge's determination letter yesterday. While I've known I've been disabled for quite some time as I've had to give up so many of the activities that I love and I continue to struggle with abilities that are normal for a 30 year old woman, it seems more real to know that I am legally disabled. When asked my employment status on forms I will now have to write "disabled". My daughter has a disabled mother. My husband has a disabled wife.
It's not the life we wanted. Disability is not the "fairy tale" ending that anyone dreams of as a child. No amount of money could compensate for the physical, spiritual, mental, and emotional suffering of disability.
But we are extremely grateful for the extra income we will receive each month, no matter how small it is. This will help us offset some of our monthly bills, especially the medical bills, and allow us to hopefully save a little money again (something we have not been able to do for two years now).
So for all of you who are working hard and paying into social security each pay check. Thank you. It is very humbly to have to accept money and help from others, but please know that you are helping families like us bear the burden of chronic illness and disability.
I pray one day my health will return enough to where I can work again and will not need to rely on government based financial assistance because disability is not the goal. But until that day comes, either on this Earth or in my heavenly home, I accept the benefits of social security disability with a thankful heart knowing many around the world are suffering much worse than I am without opportunities for financial assistance.
Thank you for your faithful prayers concerning this over the last almost 2 years. And most importantly thank you to our great God who has shown us favor and granted our petitions!