I have always been a jeans and t-shirt kind of gal. I don't like shopping and clothes aren't that important to me. When my pelvic pain began almost 3 years ago, and especially in the last year and a half, wearing jeans became torture to me. Any pants really that are tight fitting at all or have a thick seam in the crotch are out of the question. So my wardrobe consists of a few pairs of knit pants, exercise shorts, and a couple skirts. I even tried the ridiculous Pajama Jeans in hopes of being able to wear "jeans" again with no success.
I also have such pain in my feet that I can only wear certain shoes. For this fall the only shoes I have that I can wear are my tennis (which I can't stand very long in before I start to have a lot of burning), and my Dansko clogs, which are the best shoes I've found so far for my pain, but are really pricey. I see maxi skirts are popular this season, but I don't know how they'd look with my "clunky" Danskos. Every change of season is particularly difficult as I try to figure out what I will wear without increasing my pain or spending a ton of money and as I grieve the loss of being "normal".
I look at other young women and think, "what is it like to throw on whatever you want without worrying that half-way through church you'll be writhing in pain"? Even though I'm not a big fashion person, I'd like to not have to wear yoga pants every day for the rest of my life. It's easy to start to feel sorry for myself and worry. But in these times I try to quote "is not life more than food and the body more than clothing"?
"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?
And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." Matthew 6: 25, 28-33
It's definitely not easy though. This is just another little way that the enemy tries to convince me that God is not good, that He won't do what he's promised, and that He doesn't love me. But God will do what He's promised: to clothe me. This doesn't mean I will be be the most fashionable or have the largest wardrobe to choose from, but I will be clothed. My job is to seek Him first and trust Him to provide. I haven't gone naked yet!
For those of you who also struggle with pudendal neuralgia.....what do you wear to keep from increasing your pain? Would love suggestions from anyone concerning ideas for clothing/shoes this fall :)