Today is my birthday. I am 29 years old. Over the last couple of years I feel like my body has aged so much that I should be older. I always tend to reflect a little on my birthday thinking about some of my favorite birthday memories or looking at pictures. I tend to reflect a lot these days. I often look back at pictures labeling them my "pre-pain days". I'll say things like, "that's when I used to be normal." I am quickly forgetting what it felt like to be normal. But I sure wish I could feel that way again. I think it about it too much and I know it's wrong. When these thoughts come I try to remind myself of this Bible verse:
"Do not say, "Why is it that the former days were better than these?" For it is not from wisdom that you ask about this." Ecclesiastes 7:10
Not only does it do nothing for my pain to think longingly upon the way my life used to be it's also wrong. I am not wise. I don't know what is going to happen tomorrow, but God does. He knew before I was born that on my 29th birthday I would be suffering with this chronic pain. And He didn't just know He planned it for me.
"And in Your book were all written The days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was not one of them." Psalm 139:16
And He didn't just plan it for me, He did it for my good.
"And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28
" He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? " Romans 8:32
And that is why I can have joy on my 29th birthday and everyday. I can look ahead with hope as I await the good plans God has in store for me and not only for this life, but even more so for the life to come thanks to Jesus' death on the cross! This anticipation far outweighs any memories of my "normal" days.